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Friday, Mar. 05, 2004 - 4:09 P.M.

Sooo I�m new to this online diary thing (craze, really) although, I�m finding it pretty easy to get into the swing of things.

I enjoy writing my thoughts and observations down and commentating (even if it�s just to myself) on all sorts of matters. I enjoy even more going back months later to read what I wrote about a particular matter or revisiting what my particular angst was that day. Most times one of those re-reading sessions ends with me thinking �Wow! I was having a really good/bad/stupendous/horrible/crazy insane ass of a day.�

I like to see it in print, hard on the page. The problem is that �the page� is overwhelming to me. I mean, my physical diary is such a thick, leather bound, blank-paged book. I�m thinking that only very inspiring, insightful and impossibly deep thoughts should be put into such a weighty tome. No, it seems much easier for me to type my thoughts out. It�s like it�s somehow not as meaningful, like it�s not tangible, like it won�t be there for posterity. Although, it is very meaningful to me.

And also? The online diary allows me to write things that I would be afraid to write in a diary I kept in my house. You know, where my husband or children might find it and accidentally drop it, accidentally flip the pages and accidentally read four of five months of entries. You know how you accidentally have 4 or 5 beers when you really only meant to have one (honest!). Yeah. Like that. If I feel like cursing a blue streak here, I can. If I feel like describing the incredibly explicit sexual dream I had about Brad Pitt, I can (Back off gals (or guys!)! He�s mine!).

Anyhow, the point is, when I sit down to write an entry via computer I am fearless. Via handwriting on a blank page I am scared-y scares-a lot.

Must be some reason for that. Maybe it�s all the beers. Nah.

Can't be.

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� Purplecigar

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