Friday, Apr. 09, 2004 - 4:37 P.M.

Email. Modern Wonder akin to sliced bread or Annoying Nuisance? A case can be made for both I�m afraid.

I get so much junk email. I wish I could respond to these doofs, but it would be a waste of precious time. You know why? Because real people aren�t sending these things out. At least I hope not because if they are we need to call InterPol right away about missing persons. I fear there are quite a few villages without their idiots.

Here is a sampling of the subject lines of a just a few (there are just so many) I received this week:

Adele Gillis writes in her subject line: staten honeycomb. (The hell? What is/are staten?)

Amy Arredono contributes: dockside decontrol. (Hmm, possible code for �these rats are freakin� nuts�?)

Bridget Montoya with: huff. (Shall I call the paramedics, Bridge?)

Daren Cherry positively shouts: abrasive did. (Did what? Are we chaffing Daren?)

Darius Page all but whimpers: octogenarian reprieve. (Perhaps I should have opened this. Possible crime confession?)

Darrel Wilkins says it like he means it: fritter proposition filibuster. (Is the bakery withholding your pastry? WTF, Darrel.)

Earlene Irwin cannot wait to tell me: hydrogenate cameroun homemade hudson. (These are not my typos ya�ll. Just assume [sic] to be placed by each of these goofy entries.)

Edwardo Dyer states: maul safeguard. (Now, Eddie also sent me another one titled: corrodible escapee. I think Eds is having some sort of fantasy I�m afraid to further investigate.)

And, I�ll give you just one more (although, I could go on and on and on):

Mayra Tolbert jumps, jives and wails with: aerogene flew dogtrot bridle affectation. (Mayra may want to look into some counseling for this. I can�t even come up with a thought about what this could possibly be. Bestiality? S&M fetish? DNA research? Aerodynamics?)

Why did I include their names? Uh, because they aren�t real people. Come ON. Earlene? Mayra? Adele? Wait a second, are these coming from Alabama?

Well, now it all makes sense doesn�t it?

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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