Tuesday, Apr. 13, 2004 - 2:50 P.M.

I am not piggy-backing off an earlier entry. I am not taking the easy way out. I am not compromising. Oh, and, I am not saying anything new. Hee.

Y�all. Oh. My. Gosh. I mean, these peeeeeople. Idgits, fools, imbeciles all. They just do not get it. So I will try to be more clear and concise. I just haven�t been callous enough apparently and so I�m just gonna hav�ta get my bitch on. (You know, I typed �going to have to get my bitch on.� but it sounded like a proper English person trying to be badass. Picture Mary Poppins saying it to the kids. Yeah, like that.)

Perhaps you�ll remember an earlier entry, Rules Of Engagement. I am sure you fine people would not read such an entry posted, say, by one of your office mates and then go about your merry way continuing to be oblivious to said office mates obvious dislike for you (or would you?). My friends, this is exactly what has happened.

There are things to be found in my office that can be found elsewhere in the building. I know! It�s a notion that boggles the mind. Thus, one does not need to enter my space for paperclips, pens, glue, tape or any other miscellaneous office-y product. I know the pen-on-a-string concept is like, wacky, to you guys. But, really? It exists solely so the pen won�t be carted away. It�s a hard concept to grasp to be sure. I�ll give you a moment. This y�all, this is how much I dislike you. I had to anchor the damn pen to my desk so that I wouldn�t have to leave my office for a new one, thereby increasing my chances of running into one of YOU.

I have outfitted my office with conveniences for ME. They are not to be used at your whim and whimsy. I do not cater to your every want and desire. Though I do not suffer from only child syndrome, I must tell you that file folders and desk accessories are arranged just so for ME. Pads and pencils are arranged for easy access by ME. They are mine. After all, when I hear footsteps I must be able to grab them quickly so as to appear busy. What if it�s the boss? Of course, nine times out of ten, it�s not the boss. It is someone far more dreaded. It is you. The next person that buzzes me with a computer problem will get this response: �Hmm. Well, it does look serious. I think what we�ve got here is an ID-10-T (geddit?) error. Let me get back to you. Does not in this lifetime work?� And you know what else? For God�s sake stop loitering and hovering. You are like a poo cloud. (Big ups to niceguymike!)

Look, I like one person in this office. When you see me talking to that person, as I do daily, you�ll know that person is the one and YOU ARE NOT.

Damn, how much more clear can I make it? Is it that you are detecting sarcasm so you feel I am joking? The sarcasm is there, granted. However, it is not jocular, funny ha ha sarcasm. It is acerbic, go the holy hell away sarcasm.

Sarcasm is my sword. I wield it mightily. Don�t make me stab you with it again.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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