Thursday, Jun. 10, 2004 - 9:26 A.M.

There are some things I’ve noticed about my writing style since I’ve been doing DiaryLand entries. Certain patterns that weren’t previously known to me have shown themselves. I’m running the risk, however, that once I point them out to you, you’ll focus only on these things and not my incredibly serious writing. That would be such a shame as I have so much of significance to say. Except, not. Self-mockery and self-importance cannot co-exist in this entry.

Let’s mock.

1. I love…ellipsis. To be completely honest with you, I have no idea what the proper usage is for ellipsis. And, if you’ve been reading for any period of time…you probably know that already. Actually, I just looked it up and, not surprisingly, I don’t believe I’ve used them properly…ever.

2. I use parentheticals (a lot). I don’t really know why. It’s like I can’t be bothered to write another sentence to express an additional thought, I must contain it in parentheses. I also appear to have a hard time not adding an additional thought (damn, I suck).

3. I love italics. Seriously. I don’t know that I’ve ever written an entry without them and I don’t know that I ever will. It’s my way of saying, “Pay attention to me!” or, “Hello. I’m sarcasm. What’s your name?” Indeed, I’m sure I am using italics improperly as well. I’m okay with that.

4. I enjoy the use of all CAPS. In my world, all caps conveys either shouting or sarcasm too extreme for mere italic usage. Example: the acquaintance (at best) who recently asked if she could borrow my ChapStick while she had a big honking blister on her lip. My reply would look like this, “UH, NO. Let’s see if we can’t put a glob of ointment on that stockpile of INFECTION, ‘kay?”

5. I will use commas at the drop of a hat. Since I didn’t really pay attention in language arts (‘cause I sat next to this incredibly cute boy who always smelled so, so, so good), I’m sure I don’t use the commas in correct places. But, you know, whatever. What, are you the comma police or something?

6. I really like to throw a completely old school or obscure word into my entries. No idea why. Maybe, it’s my way of conveying the farceur in myself. That’s probably giving myself a little too much credit though. Most likely it’s because I’m a dork.

I’m sure there are others. These are just the most glaring to me. If you know of others, feel free to point them out. Trust me, I won’t bite your head off, REALLY. I am completely open to criticism (constructive, backhanded, however you want to give it to me, baby) and I’ll be very, well…open-minded and square.

Not…obtuse.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

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