Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004 - 3:52 P.M.


The birth of my youngest son has made me an even better mom in some ways and one worse for the wear at others. It�s all about balance really. You balance out forgetting to be the tooth fairy with your attendance at every single football and basketball game and track meet the child has ever been, or will ever be, in. You balance out making him eat broccoli with giving him heaps of ice cream afterward. It�s an incredibly simple formula, really. Forgetfulness on your part/doing anything you enjoy instead of doing something they enjoy + occasional lack of proper supervision = hurt and, possibly, pain for them leading to a big steaming bowl of guilt for you, which, in turn, = buying them a present. Most likely a big one.

Oldest son loves, LOVES, lurves youngest son. Not only does he love him because he�s his brother and he�d better, he loves him also for the fact that youngest son has served to take the heat off of him. Whereas before, my time was devoted to oldest son and the reeling off of a series of questions honed and chiseled down through the years to (a) the most important ones and (b) take into account a teenage boy�s short attention span when the subject does not involve sex, girls or sex, now, after the birth of youngest son, I can barely get one question out of my mouth before (a) youngest son gets jealous and bites the cat in order to get the attention focused back on him or (b) oldest son starts thinking about sex or girls.

Seriously, I�m fighting a losing battle, people. Recently I found out oldest son is in possession of a condom. Now, on the one hand, I�m thankful for this taking of responsibility on his part, on the other hand I want to rip the condom right out of his hand and screech and bandy about the room like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs all the while moaning �Where did I go wroooooooooooong?�

Oldest son�s whole life has been but a prelude to this particular time in his life. His entire life we have openly talked about sex and drugs and drinking and peer pressure. We have spoken about responsibility and the meaning of giving one�s word. We have talked about self-respect and respecting others. I want him to know he can speak to me about anything. I also want him to know I�m not his friend, I�m his mother. I want him to realize that if he calls me to come and pick him up because he or his driving friend has been drinking, I�ll be ever so thankful he called but he�s still in a world of trouble.

My issue is this -- he�s 15 and, though I would NEVER tell him this, I had sex for the first time when I was�15. So, it�s a little scary to have seen this condom in his wallet. I�m 35. To him, my 20 years removed from age 15 is a lifetime, longer than he�s even been alive! But, to me, it�s really not that long at all because I do remember what it was like in high school, I do remember peer pressure and I do remember what 15 year old boys do, because I was once doin� it with them.

I�ve, quite painfully I might add, arrived at the decision that I will allow him to keep the condom. Obviously he�d just get another one from whomever he got this one from anyway (oh, God! Who did he get this one from?). However, the keeping of the condom will be preceded by the non-stop talking of the mom. Wherein I will reiterate everything I�ve ever told him about anything even remotely to do with sex at all. I�ve realized that�s all I can do. I can�t keep him locked up in the house. I can�t be with him every second of his life.

He�ll listen too. Because apparently we�ll be discussing his favorite topic.

12 comments so far

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

[ Registered ]

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!