Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2004 - 4:43 P.M.

Some diaries list interesting searches that lead folks to their site. Most often they are integrated in as part of their current DiaryLand page but not a part of the current entry itself. Since I think we can all agree that I am template/design-challenged, I’d like to present to you, all at once, contained in the entry (erm, in fact, they are the entry) intriguing hits from Google I’ve received recently:

-----Tonsils irritated smoking and toggle---- I’m fairly certain one’s tonsils would be irritated if one were to smoke a toggle. Wait, is toggle a euphemism for joint? Is that what the kids call it these days?

-----Where I lost my panties-----815,000 results, people. 815,000. If only you men could just narrow the location of these ladies down…

-----Daniel Boone as a pez dispenser-----Which I wholeheartedly advocate, but the dispenser itself is a little spooky.

------Do it yourself surgery kits-----Which I wholeheartedly do not advocate. Nonetheless, disturbingly, they are available.

-----Cleaver happy birthday greetings-----I don’t know who this person was to be telling happy birthday to, but I know I’m glad it wasn’t me. Cleaver? I know, I know, it was supposed to be “clever,” I’m sure. Still, it returned over 2,100 results.

-----Adultery stages-----Perhaps the “cleaver” searcher’s significant other?

-----Toilet seat decorum-----Tons of results, of which I am number three. I’m quite proud.

-----Toilet paper syphilis-----Even more results than the one above, of which I am number seven. Suddenly, I’m not so proud.

-----Youth and stupidity-----Yes.

-----Hand in hand-----Surely by the same person who searched for “youth and stupidity.”

And finally, the cherry on top of this heap-o-crap:

-----Who is in the devil’s mouth in the seventh layer of hell?-----Mickey. Rourke. I’m sure of it.

So, I wonder what interesting searches this entry will turn up? Well, let’s make sure they’re good: creamy, cockchafer, toilet, hot, dongle, organ, titmouse, wet, hairy woodpecker, bondage, penal, throbbing, puckfist.

That should do it.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

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