Tuesday, Dec. 07, 2004 - 12:51 P.M.

There’s probably more than one website where you can create a “virtual model” of yourself though I chose to go through My Virtual Model. Why would one want a virtual model of oneself? Well, it enables you to “virtually” try on clothing. Most people might think that’s a pretty cool feature and it is, of course. Especially if you’re like me and you share my complete and total aversion to actually trying on clothes. For real like. In a dressing room with horrid fluorescent lighting. Fluorescent lighting = of the Devil. Admittedly, it’s a fairly long and drawn out process to sign-up, create your model and then arrive at the spot on a particular retailer’s website where you can use your virtual model to try the clothing on. Which is not good at all if you’re me.

I’ve found that the older I get the more my patience level wanes. On a good day, I do not suffer fools lightly and I flat out will not suffer them at all on a bad day. Lately, all there seem to be are bad ones. For instance, there’s a lady, the cashier, at the convenience store I frequent in the mornings who pleasantly chats with most of the customers as she rings them up. I have three things to say about this: 1. Please hurry up. 2. Don’t engage me in conversation. 3. Move it along already. Bitchy? Most definitely. I just don’t have the patience to stand there and listen to a conversation or to talk and exchange pleasantries. I know, I know, that’s terrible! I live in the South the supposed epicenter of hospitality. You’d think I’d be a better representative.

By way of another example, let’s say I want to make some copies. Our copy machine is a little dated and the button you must push to start the copying process has been totally battered and mistreated. I’m sure I do not know how. Sometimes you have to push the button several times to make it start. If that machine does not start the minute I press that button do you know what I do? Walk downstairs and use the other copy machine. True, we aren’t talking about 17 miles of corridor as exists in the Pentagon, still, I’d rather go to a whole other floor than bother with that stupid button. You know why? Because if that button doesn’t work the next time I press it I’ll start selling off hits to it with a sledgehammer. For free.

My lack of patience is a definite character flaw but it’s one of so many it’s certainly not lacking for company. I’m not like that at all with my husband or children. I’ve been complimented more than once on how patient I am with my children. Strangers and inanimate objects, they incur the wrath.

Back to the virtual model - They have clothing they call “the collection” right on their site you can try on as well. But these clothes? Not so attractive. I present to you, “me” in some butt-ugly clothes from “the collection”:

How ‘bout that ensemble, eh? Sweeeet.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

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