Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005 - 5:00 P.M.

In Gretchen Wilson�s song, �Redneck Woman� she sings ---�Victoria�s Secret; their stuff�s real nice but I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price.�---this is somewhat true, however, I have purchased bras from Wal-Mart in the past and not one of them has ever made my girls ride up so high and proud as do the Body By Victoria bras from Victoria�s Secret. They are sitting up and taking notice, I tell you. Seriously, if these jokers get pushed up any higher my neck will have nipples. Suck it, gravity! I�m taking an anonymous internet post of the twins (in the bra, let�s not get carried away) into consideration. They truly look that good today.

And speaking of breasts�as I�ve mentioned here before, my mother and grandmother both died of breast cancer. I�ve given serious thought to preventative mastectomy so as to try and avoid the same fate. I once went to a spa to have a massage. The full body kind. Here we are, the masseuse and I, in this softly lit room with scented candles throwing dancing light to the walls and soothing Enya-like music filling the silence. I had just about achieved complete and total relaxation complete with drool when she starts asking me questions. �How are your menstrual cramps?� �Do you drink water to release the toxins in your body?� �When you are stressed do you feel it in your teeth?� (Yeah, I don�t know what that�s about either.)

We get around to families and medical history and breast cancer comes up and she tells me what I (at first) believe to be a very inspiring survival story (her own). And, really, it is certainly inspiring and glorious when anyone beats the evil and dreaded c-word. However, her story involved a witch, spider eggs and a blind shaman. It�s too long to go into but the gist of it best I can remember is that she was introduced to a witch who used all manner of things to heal the body. After the witch was done with the body you were sent to a blind shaman to heal the spirit. Whatever. How much you wanna bet the �witch� and the �shaman� were �Ethel� and �Buddy� from the VFW out to scam a few bucks. At any rate their mojo obviously didn�t take because (thankfully!) real doctors performed a radical mastectomy and subsequent reconstructive surgery and she had been cancer free for some odd years. One thing I�ve found in life is that women who have either had reconstructive breast surgery, augmentation or reduction have no problem whipping those puppies out for other women to see and feel.

I mean, she asked me to feel her boobs. This woman who I�ve known for approximately 55 minutes asked me to feel her boobs. Not only asks me, practically commands me. While she�s holding her shirt open and her bra up.

What was a gal to do?

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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