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Wednesday, Jan. 19, 2005 - 5:05 P.M.

In yet another entry in which I show you just how much time I waste at work, I offer the following electronic correspondence. First, a preface�

My boss does not have a sense of humor. He�s a nice man, I respect him and all, but we�re not elbowing each other in the ribs with jokes and we certainly don�t e-mail funnies back and forth. We aren�t crackin� wise with each other at the water cooler. So, when he attempts humor or, at the very least, whimsical (albeit, in this case, somewhat sexist) quips, it turns my world upside down. It really, really throws me off.

FROM: Client A
TO: Purplecigar�s Boss.
I received a statement from you yesterday and noticed that it shows a balance of ($you people are screwing me). I sent a payment of ($incredibly small amount of outrageous sum of money) that is not reflected on this statement. According to my records my balance should be ($seriously, why don�t I just bend over?).

FROM: Boss
TO: Purplecigar
Please check this out and respond to Client A.

FROM: Purplecigar
TO: Client A
CC: Boss
We did receive your payment of ($oh man, is that all you got?!). Due to a clerical error, it was not credited to your account. It has now been credited to your account and a Statement will go out today that reflects this payment and the balance due of ($HA HA HA, you�ll never pay this off. Sucker!). I apologize for the error. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Best regards.

FROM: Boss
TO: Purplecigar
Am I going to have to start taking away your "atta girl" points?!

PURPLE: I said �clerical error"... . I didn't say MY clerical error. Even though it, uh, was. So, yes. I guess you need to start a chart. Surely the positive column will be longer than the negative... ?

BOSS: No doubt, but it's the spread that counts!

FROM: Purplecigar
FORWARDED TO: tothefloor
The Hell?

TOTHEFLOOR: Spread? I do not understand these terms of gambling.

And from there it progressed into a discussion about lunch. So, as you can imagine from reading the above, I have to run.

I�m extremely busy.

2 comments so far

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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