Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005 - 12:46 P.M.

My husband is a logistics manager and his company performs random drug testing very often. Whenever someone under his direction fails a drug test he has to take them to the clinic and have them re-tested. It stops short of him having to be in the room with the person while they�re giving their sample but perhaps, though to my husband�s dismay, I�m sure, he should have to be. Upon re-test one dude�s sample, came back �non-human.� Do you know what that means? It means that, (1) the guy got a �non-human� sample from somewhere; and, (2) since he didn�t know he was going to have to be re-tested or, if he did, he certainly didn�t know the exact day, he must�ve carried the sample around with him at all times, just in case. �Hey Bob! What�s that in your pocket there?� �Aw, just a vial of pee. You know, the usual.� The test does not clarify what exact species was used for the sample although I suppose I would guess a dog. How do you get a dog to pee in a cup? Very carefully! Ba-dum-cha! Really, I�m betting it involves gloves. I sure hope it does anyhow.

As it turns out there is a Web site with step-by-step instructions for getting a sample from a dog. The site is for pet owners who need to take the sample to their vet only you just know it�s used for other purposes. Man, can you find anything on the Web or what?

Of course there are also sites where one can buy a clean urine sample. This would worry me if I had need for such a thing. I mean, you don�t know who�s giving this sample! What if the Doc came back and said, �Hey, Bob, good news! You passed your drug test but apparently you're pregnant.�

This site also notes that the kit can be used for �maintaining one's privacy� in regard to one�s particular �sex fetishes.� Clearly I�m out of the fetish loop. Could someone clue me in as to what sex fetish would cause this to be a necessity? Seriously. I�m curious.

And finally, I also found a couple of recipes (!) for a �Urine Sample Cocktail�. And doesn�t that just sound delicious and refreshing? Come to think about it, if you read the recipe, which calls for rum (yum!) and amaretto (what could be betto!) but no actual urine (um�good news!), it does sound quite good.

Well, I believe that�s enough talk about urine for, oh, say, ever? Besides, I have to run.

I find myself suddenly having to go to the restroom.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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