Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005 - 1:44 P.M.

The February 2005 issue of Writer�s Digest contains, what I think, is a very interesting article by Shannon Celarek which in turn contains some very interesting statistics. Quoting from Writer�s Digest:

�According to Laura Lee�s book 100 Most Dangerous Things in Everyday Life and What You Can Do About Them (Broadway Books), books cause more injuries in the United Kingdom per year (2,707) than training weights (1,884) or trampolines (1,902). In the United States, an average of 10,683 suffer calamitous encounters��

The article goes on to say:

�Magazine racks and bookends send an additional 1,490 people to the emergency room. Reading in bed exposes you to the added dangers associated with beds, mattresses and pillows-411,689 U.S. casualties per year. And forget seeking sanctuary in your favorite chair. You�re more than 13 times as likely to get hurt while sitting down as when operating a chain saw.�

Okay, first of all, WHAT? That is not meant to doubt the veraciousness of the statistics themselves or to downplay the seriousness of the matter or even to poke fun at Celarek�s article, it�s simply meant to point out that apparently, we humans? Clearly total dumbknucks.

9,000 more incidents than trampoline accidents? More likely to get hurt sitting down reading a book than with a chain saw? Again, I say to you, WHAT? Listen, if you�ve ever been harmed by a book or book related material, and you�re not too terribly embarrassed about it (because you really should be), please comment. I�d love to hear your story.

With respect, since I loved both so much, the closest I came was to damn near lick the covers of both The Lovely Bones and The Secret Life Of Bees. However, I refrained myself. And, even if I had, I would have only incurred injury if said covers had been soaking in a vat of smallpox. Which, surely, they were not. Hopefully.

This particular sentence of the article is hysterical to me: �Reading in bed exposes you to the added dangers associated with beds, mattresses and pillows-411,689 U.S. casualties per year.� That�s like saying eating in your car exposes you to the added dangers of plastic sporks, styrofoam containers and paper napkins or sitting on the toilet exposes you to the added dangers of cardboard toilet paper rolls, rubber flappers and furry bath mats.

All this time we�ve been worried about terrorists! Who knew downy pillows and cozy bedding were our arch nemeses all along?

Good Lord, people. Are we Americans or American�ts? I mean, seriously, if we can�t do better than 411,689 U.S. deaths per year from reading in bed? How the hell do we hope to stop California from breaking off into the sea or an asteroid from taking out Cleveland?

Or, for the love of all that is holy, and perhaps the most scary, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline from breeding?

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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