Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2005 - 12:44 P.M.

I am ancient.

My day starts at 5:45 a.m. and I pretty much have to be in bed by 10:00. If I don�t get at least seven hours of sleep a night, I�m as useless as a condom would currently be to Britney Spears. Allegedly.

In my younger days, of course, I could cruise through the day on about three hours sleep and those three hours would have been preceded by heavy drinking, intake of massive quantities of food, and possibly a little somethin�-somethin� with a boy. Allegedly. Or not.

I have a friend whose normal bedtime is 3:00 a.m. pretty much every night. 3:00 a.m.! Do what? I asked her once just what it is she does with this time. You know what she said? �Uh, well�I�um�.okay, I�.er�� That�s right, when pressed about what she does during all this extra time she couldn�t come up with an answer. Do you have any idea how much stuff I could get done if I could stay awake until 3:00 in the morning? I could clean out that pantry* I�ve eyed every single weekend for two years though quickly (and repeatedly) looked away from. I could purge my closet of clothing that even self-proclaimed hippie Drew Barrymore would scoff at. I could vacuum! Clean the cat box! Run the dishwasher! Read a book! Write a book! There wouldn�t even be a need to worry about the noise, number one son once slept through a hurricane. While in a trailer! (That�s a mobile/modular home for you non-white trash folk. Which is not to imply that living in a trailer makes you white trash. Er, you know what? I feel I am digging myself in deeper�let�s move on.)

So there I was being more than envious of the fact that while I�m dozing away my friend is getting all sorts of things done. While I�m laying there doing nothing at all she�s accomplishing all manner of things--getting a jump on the day! the weekend!

I must tell you, I was happier than I should have been to find out that she was simply slacking and not �getting ahead� of me in any way. Catty I know.

But then, old people can be so pissy.

*Incidentally, I initially typed �panty� instead of �pantry� and posted this bad boy. Which means that somewhere there are a couple of people who read this entry and thought, �No shit she looked away from them! They must be some seriously cruddy underwear. She�s so gross!�

You know, it�s a good thing we don�t have message boards here on DairyLand because I can�t imagine the rumor that would start.

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Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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