Tuesday, Apr. 19, 2005 - 4:13 P.M.

Tonight at dinner, impress your friends and/or family.*

�Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down-hence the expression �to get fired�.�-----Presumably, since they weren�t trying to kill the unwanted just destroy every single thing they owned, the people were not in their houses at the time. How very kind of the clan! Now, I�ve got a couple of co-workers�

�The phrase �rule of thumb� is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn�t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb�-----And the phrase �pencil dick� is derived from said wife�s discussion of her husband�s endowment at the local quilting bee.

�More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.�-----Perhaps that standby phrase meant to make the aviophobic among us feel better (i.e., �More people die in car crashes than plane crashes�) should be revised.

�In Breton, Alabama, there is a law on the town�s books against riding down the street in a motorboat.�-----But not, apparently, against putting one up on blocks in your front yard right next to your old cast iron bathtub and 11 spare tires.

�A blue whale�s tongue weighs more than an elephant.�-----I think we all know what that means. Somewhere in the deep blue sea there are some very happy female whales.

�It�s physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.�-----And I should know, I just spent a good ten minutes giving it a shot. I wish I were making that up. Go ahead, you try it.

�The electric chair was invented by a dentist.�-----Fitting, no?

*Source: A Book For The Bog: Strong, Absorbent Trivia For The Toilet--Mad Moose Press

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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