Tuesday, May. 24, 2005 - 3:08 P.M.

One of my favorite things to do is write. It�s been particularly upsetting then, that in the last few weeks I have put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard as it were) maybe twice. Whether due to sickness (sinus infections suuuuuuuck), business (why oh why can�t I win the lottery so I can sit at home and drink pi�a coladas, watch Tom Cruise self-destruct on Oprah and stuff my face with treats? And, er, write), family matters (birthdays, anniversaries; you know the drill) and, if I�m being honest, the end of the fall television season, I just haven�t gotten around to it. Additionally, I just haven�t felt like writing at all.

Some folks use the �blog� (I hate that term, by the way. It sounds like wound one would have on one�s ass. In fact, I�m pretty sure Britney Spears has one. �Poor Britney! She can�t sit down, she has an ass blog.�) or online diary format merely to vent frustration or to keep family and friends updated about their daily life, a Christmas newsletter that is published all year long, if you will.

I, on the other hand, use this format for posting things that I then gauge positive or negative feedback too, which I will someday go back and expand in order to publish an extremely well put together book filled with incredibly humorous essays that will sell as quickly as ice water in the Mojave, or robots used to pick-up fake penises, which will then get me a movie deal and possibly, if I�m lucky, a guest appearance on The O.C., which will lead, of course, to my becoming enormously famous. And then? Well, I�m not quite sure but I hope it involves Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and some whipped cream. And a roll of packing tape.

Non-Confidential to:

Whomever is sending me the picture that was contained in this entry over and over and over and over and over again? I don�t know what to make of you. It appears, from my stats and your isp address listed therein, that the above-linked entry is the only one you are interested in. And yet, the actual image is no longer contained in the entry. Apparently, however, you have made yourself a copy and God only knows what you�re doing with it. Are you supersizing it for use in your summer garden? Because, considering the clothing my �virtual model� was wearing in this image, that�s the only explanation I can come up with. And, why do you keep Googling �purplecigar + photo�? Weird. Come to think of it, perhaps I should not post this message to you. I mean, what if you�re a serial killer or something and you�re just looking for attention? Waiting for me to mention the fact that you are stalking my virtual model? Hmmm�are you a serial killer? Do I know you? Would you please identify yourself? �Cause you�re really creepin� me out.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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