Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005 - 2:19 P.M.

Unfortunately, more often than not, there comes a time in every little boy�s life when he makes a visit to the emergency room. Hopefully it is for a very minor thing such as stitches. This was the case with my three year old several weekends ago. We had been swimming so he was wet and he went to climb up some already slick steps. Whammo! Chin busted. Off to the emergency room.

At the very same age, many years ago now, my oldest son fell and busted his chin on a glass coffee table while executing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-style kick. The er staff wrapped him in a �papoose,� which was more of a straightjacket and nowhere near as cute and harmless as it sounds. At any rate, he couldn�t move (the point) and hearing him scream for me while they gave him shots and stitched him up was tortuous. So I wasn�t looking forward to the same experience with son number two.

Thankfully, I needn�t have worried at all. While seated in the curtained off area of the er the doctor checked out my son�s injury and told us he would glue the cut rather than stitch it. The glue (if it�s a possibility) being much less traumatizing for the child and the parents. The doctor headed off to get his supplies. Then it happened. A lady who was also in the er with her son came walking around the curtain into our room.

Now, whenever I hear someone from the north say that someone else sounds like a hillbilly, I think they only think they know what a southern accent/hillbilly sounds like and don�t lend their description much credence. On the other hand, when I, a hick myself, tell you that this woman sounded like a bumpkin, surely you can get an idea of how yokel-ish she was. So get that dialect ready and read this aloud:

Did that doctor say he was gonna �glue� your boy�s wound? You know, that�s funny �cause one time my boy Billy over yonder, ran his head through a glass curio cabinet, made a big L-shaped cut. You could see his skull! But we didn�t have any insurance or nothin� then so I couldn�t take him to a hospital so, well, I just pulled his hair apart and put Super Glue on it.

I�m guessing Billy had a helluva time brushing his hair after Mom doused his head with Super Glue. Can you imagine? Wonder if he ever broke his leg and she fashioned him a cast out of PVC pipe.

Poor Billy.

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� Purplecigar

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