Tuesday, Aug. 09, 2005 - 2:55 P.M.

Today I was behind a Batesville Casket Company truck. On the back of the truck right beside the company logo were the words, �Please Drive Safely.�

A case could be made that, to see those words on a sign on the side of the highway is one thing; to see them on the back of a casket company truck gives them a little extra punch. Of course, being that they are a casket company wouldn�t they want to amp up their business? Like, why not have the back of the truck say, �Hey you! Follow too closely. Tailgate. Drive very fast. Drink! Be merry. And, have your family give us a call.�

Anyhow, this got me to thinking about a couple of other slogans I see daily. Sitting at the stop light where I exit the interstate is a nudie bar -- D�j� vu. If you have a D�j� vu in your area, you know what I�m about to say. Their slogan? �1000�s Of Beautiful Girls And 3 Ugly Ones.� Man, don�t you know those three gals have some serious self-esteem issues? And that�s assuming those three even know they are the three. I mean, what if they don�t? What if they are totally oblivious and altogether pitying some other girls? �Awww. Poor Star Skank. No idea she�s one of the ugly ones. It�s hard to be me and so beautiful. (Sigh)�

Also, every day I pass a billboard for Tequila Reef brand tequila. Tequila Reef�s slogan is--

The billboard shows nothing but a picture of the bottle and those words. Those six words sum up the tequila experience pretty succinctly, I think. Actually, in my case, they�d need to tack on �PUKE IT.� Cause one time, ONE time, I got waaay too drunk on tequila and now the mere smell of it will make me nauseous. In fact, this paragraph is pretty much chucking me over the edge.

I�ve decided I want my own slogan and since I�m too lazy to do the thinking for myself, I�m going to just change around a few popular taglines to my liking:

---I Can�t Believe It�s Not Better.

---Got Beer?

---There are some things your money can't buy. For everything else, there's his Mastercard.

I know that last one�s pretty long but I really think I could get it on the side of a semi.

Maybe I�ll just steal �Lick it. Slam it. Suck it.�

I mean, it is a pretty good one.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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