Tuesday, Sept. 06, 2005 - 12:51 P.M.

Longtime readers will nod their heads along with me when I say this to the short time readers: I�m cheesy. (And also, why are you just short time readers?) Anyway, not me specifically, although if I suppose if I were going to be cheesy, I�d choose to be a nice, firm Sol Havarti from Denmark. Mmmmmmmmm. What I mean is, my taste in music is tends to run a bit toward the cheesy side of things.

Back at the beginning of April msn�s Web site (which I shall not link to here because everyone already knows it and, as per the below, they have disheartened me), had a listing of the cheesiest songs ever. Who determined them to be the cheesiest ever, msn neglects to say, but they posted it so they�re on my shit list.

Let me start off by saying that right there above the list, the first thing you saw upon the page loading-in was the picture of none other than Richard Marx. I�ll go on record again as saying that Richard Marx is a prolific songwriter whose immense talents were overlooked by many simply by virtue of the fact he was so damn pretty. Incredihot. And he still is. Mock me, laugh at me, I don�t care, sock-girlie has my back on this one.

To the list--Now y�all? Be honest in your comments okay? �Cause I know a lot of these songs are extremely popular and they got that way somehow. Even if it meant that you listened to them at a low volume in your car with the heavily tinted windows and when your cell phone rang you changed the channel to something else and cranked it. Somebody loved these songs and I refuse to believe I�m the only one. Onward:

Right Here Waiting: Richard Marx. Cheese? PLEASE! This song is super sweet��Wherever you go, whatever you do, I�ll be right here waiting for you�? That is not cheese! That is l-o-v-e. I mean, it could also possibly be a reason for a r-e-s-t-r-a-i-n-i-n-g o-r-d-e-r. Speaking of which�

Every Breath You Take: Sting. Really? I mean, really?

Against All Odds: Phil Collins. Nary a nibble of cheese in sight. Pleading and begging with wild-eyed abandon in a very quixotic way with no regard for what his boyz will say about such sissy behavior? Probably. But definitely not cheesy.

Dancing Queen: ABBA. I strenuously object! This is a song that is TOTALLY about a gal going into a club and gettin� her groove on, shakin� that moneymaker and leaving the men wanting more. I will admit to not being overly enthused about the use of the word �jive� in this song though. Because that word? Always reminds me of the movie Airplane!.

The Lady In Red: Chris de Burgh. Again, I must take exception. No cheddar here-this song is romantic! I mean, it�s about a man who is noticing all kinds of wonderful things about a woman he had never taken notice of before. This, my friends, is a man saying, �Damn, Girl! You are smokin� tonight! Have you always looked this good? Was I too much of a self-absorbed prick not to notice?� And, I ask you, what woman wouldn�t want that?

Alright, there are others I�ll just list off without my snarky yet in-defense-of-GREATNESS comments:

More Than Words: (Don�t Even Mention Van Halen To Us) Extreme.
To All The Girls I�ve Loved Before: Julio (Papa To The Hot Iglesias) Iglesias.
Rhinestone Cowboy: Glen (Have You Seen My Mug Shot?) Campbell.

C�mon now. Seize the cheese. Carpo caseus.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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