Friday, Jul. 02, 2004 - 3:17 P.M.

It�s been said/written to me on more than one occasion that what I write has no depth. It�s all surface stuff and I never really let anyone inside or let them see the real me. To those people I say this: I would normally have two little words for you that rhyme with Tuck and Too but today, I�m in an appeasing mood. One of the people who said such a thing was a Emmy winning writer so, you know, that person might have a slight clue about which they speak. Hey, I�m big enough to admit my shortcomings. So, for anyone who cares to see inside me (ahem), here�s your chance.

I am a 35 year old female. I have green eyes and (at the moment) mostly blond hair. My mother is not alive. My father is, but might as well not be. My brother and I do not get along when we see each other, which is never, so that works out well for both of us. I am married with two sons; one almost 15 and one 2. I have been married three times. The first marriage was, for the most part, a wonderful experience yet doomed to ultimate failure due to our youth and stupidity. The second marriage was a hasty, revenge-riddled, clearly (yet, not clinical) psychotic episode. How could it be anything other than a disaster? It was, mercifully, over very, very quickly. Finally, the third (and current and last) marriage is a thing of beauty. I believe all that has gone before it was just prep work.

I do not like having company in my house. I feel it is never clean enough, despite the fact open heart surgery could be performed on any given surface. I�m anal retentive and obsessive compulsive. I�m a smartass. I like it that way. I am a stickler for fairness (thus am often disappointed). I am a hothead. I tend to rage first and think things through later. I love scented candles and I don�t care to have all of the same scent, thankyouverymuch. I like the commingling of various scents, thus my house kind of stinks. Or, smells really really good, depending on how you look at (er, smell) it. As I have stated here before I am a member of no political party, preferring instead to judge the person rather than blindly follow a party. It would be very pleasing to me if everything in life were either black or white with no gray area. I believe life is way too short to give any of my time to petty bullshit, insecurities, wishing you were more than, or someone other than you are, and anger. I do not like cliques and think the people in cliques are generally insecure and codependent. I was neither popular nor unheard of in high school. In fact, I was voted Most Likely To Succeed. I haven�t, but still, the honor was once bestowed upon me.

I love the following things: Diet Cherry Coke; Cherry Coke; the smell of the air after it rains, especially in the summertime; Cracker Barrel biscuits (best when eaten cold and with a Cherry Coke); the shape of my arms (which are the result of intense upper body work. So I�m proud, sue me); the Internet; Victoria�s Secret mascara; people who have their own ideals and morals and stick to them no matter what; books (specifically sci-fi, mystery and chick lit); sitting outside on a warm summer night with my husband and a cold beer; beer; pop culture; very inside pop culture references that I get; tote bags; time spent alone reading or writing; Real Simple magazine (Martha who?); a well-prepared steak; technology, which goes hand in hand with my love and appreciation of the fact that there are people who are incredismart who develop, create, improve and research all manner of things to make our lives healthier, more efficient and better overall; the creator of tank tops with built-in shelf bras; and, finally, Cheetos. Obviously, those are in no particular order. Clearly, Cheetos deserve a better than last place mention. Clearly.

Movies deserve a paragraph all their own as I am a huge movie buff. Before my youngest son was born, my husband and I used to go to 2 or 3 movies a weekend. Movies are magic. Yeah, I know that sounds corny but I don�t care. My favorite movie line of all time is �Get away from her, you bitch!� said with enormous vigor and sassitude by Sigourney Weaver (who plays the main character, Ripley, for those who have not seen the movie. And you people? Are crazy. Certifiable.) in what is perhaps the greatest movie sequel of all time, Aliens. This line is second only to my favorite movie moment, which contains no dialogue and yet conveys �I�m about to tear your shit up� incredibly well. It�s the look given by Ripley to big bad mama alien as she enters a room where mama alien is in the process of glooping (uh, have you seen it?) the eggs of many, many baby aliens. Ripley then proceeds to torch said eggs with her flamethrower. Man, that fires me up.

With these exceptions: (1) which 5 people I would choose to have dinner with if I could choose anyone, alive or dead; (2) how I feel about convicts and capital punishment; and (3) if I were a lesbian, who would I most want to have sex with, I think that about wraps it up.

Stay tuned if you are so inclined. And, thanks very, very much for reading thus far.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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