Friday, Oct. 22, 2004 - 3:26 P.M.

Over a year ago I realized something about myself. Something I will disclose here today. Something that, if it doesn’t currently have it’s own 12-step program, really, really should. Here goes: My name is Purplecigar and I am a bath product whore. Whew! It’s like a weight has been lifted. Or, you know, a really hefty bar of soap.

I noticed one day that despite the fact that I had more gels, powders, sprays, washes, lotions, scrubs, soaps and splashes than you could shake a loofah at, I continued to buy more. I just could not seem to help myself. My bathroom was overrun with selections from Bath & Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, The Body Shop, Clinque, Avon, etc. It seemed I couldn’t get enough. One thing was for sure though, I didn’t stink.

In an effort to stave off the madness that would befall me when the Bath & Body Works nearest me closed it's doors (surely not due to a lack of sales…the horror! I should’ve done more…the guilt!), I decided to curb my habit. Mere tapering off would not do. No, I needed to go drastic. I needed to go cold turkey. So I decided I would not buy another bath-y product until I used up every last one in my house. And I mean use them. I called it the Scentsation Proclamation. Everyday was to be a new scent. Actually it was more like everyday four or five different scents. I’ve been very aromatically overwhelmed lo these many months.

My husband, wanting to help me clear the house of smelly products, would use a shampoo or body wash occasionally. He stopped however, when a forklift driver of unknown sexual tendency at his place of employment told him he smelled like an “Almond Joy.” And, as we all know, Almond Joy’s have nuts. Oh, come on, you knew that was coming.

Anyhow, though it has taken me over a year, today I am bath product free. The last bottle found its empty self in the trash can this morning. Of course, you know what this means. It’s now time to restock. Fair warning, don’t get in my way this weekend at any of the aforementioned stores. I’m mad jonesin’ for some Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Cream.

Like any junkie, I need my fix, man.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

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