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Friday, Oct. 22, 2004 - 3:26 P.M.

Over a year ago I realized something about myself. Something I will disclose here today. Something that, if it doesn�t currently have it�s own 12-step program, really, really should. Here goes: My name is Purplecigar and I am a bath product whore. Whew! It�s like a weight has been lifted. Or, you know, a really hefty bar of soap.

I noticed one day that despite the fact that I had more gels, powders, sprays, washes, lotions, scrubs, soaps and splashes than you could shake a loofah at, I continued to buy more. I just could not seem to help myself. My bathroom was overrun with selections from Bath & Body Works, Victoria�s Secret, The Body Shop, Clinque, Avon, etc. It seemed I couldn�t get enough. One thing was for sure though, I didn�t stink.

In an effort to stave off the madness that would befall me when the Bath & Body Works nearest me closed it's doors (surely not due to a lack of sales�the horror! I should�ve done more�the guilt!), I decided to curb my habit. Mere tapering off would not do. No, I needed to go drastic. I needed to go cold turkey. So I decided I would not buy another bath-y product until I used up every last one in my house. And I mean use them. I called it the Scentsation Proclamation. Everyday was to be a new scent. Actually it was more like everyday four or five different scents. I�ve been very aromatically overwhelmed lo these many months.

My husband, wanting to help me clear the house of smelly products, would use a shampoo or body wash occasionally. He stopped however, when a forklift driver of unknown sexual tendency at his place of employment told him he smelled like an �Almond Joy.� And, as we all know, Almond Joy�s have nuts. Oh, come on, you knew that was coming.

Anyhow, though it has taken me over a year, today I am bath product free. The last bottle found its empty self in the trash can this morning. Of course, you know what this means. It�s now time to restock. Fair warning, don�t get in my way this weekend at any of the aforementioned stores. I�m mad jonesin� for some Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Cream.

Like any junkie, I need my fix, man.

9 comments so far

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� Purplecigar

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