Tuesday, Oct. 19, 2004 - 4:33 P.M.

Recently I wondered aloud to tothefloor the derivation of the word “half cocked.” As in, “There's no need in going off half cocked.” Her exhaustive research, in case you're interested, returned this:

-----"Cocked" refers to the action of cocking a gun. Interestingly the term cocking a gun comes from flintlock muskets of 17th century, the hammer was very ornate and resembled a rooster (a cock). The half cock position of the cock on a flint or cap lock weapon was a "safe" position.-----

It also returned this -- The loading process of a flintlock musket:

1) Draw the hammer to the "half cock" position
2) Prime the pan
3) Close the pan
4) Charge the weapon, i.e. pour the powder into the barrel
5) Load the ball
6) Drive the ball home
7) Draw the hammer to "full cock" position

Is it just me or does pretty much every step of this sound like a porn movie?

“Hello ma’am. I’m here to clean your pool.” Cue the music ... bamp chicka wow wowwww.

“It’s soooo hot. Before you clean it, I think I’ll take a quick dip in the pool.” Clothes are doffed. Pool man’s pants have discernible bulge. “Come on in. I’ll draw your hammer while you prime my pan.”

“Oh, yeah. I'll prime it and close it. AAaaahhhh, my weapon is charged for you. Yeah, charged. Like that."

“Pour that powder into my barrel, baby. Pour it!”

“Oh, God. You’re so hot. I'm going to load the ball. Drive that ball home!”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Drive it! MMMMMMmmmmm. Oooh, your hammer is in a fully cocked position! AAAAAahhhhhooooooooooohhhhh. Yeahhhhhhhhh.”

See? It is so great to have a talent for turning anything into porn. I just know my parents would be so proud of me.

Gotta jet. I suddenly have an urge to by an old musket.

And watch Skinemax.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

previous - next