Tuesday, Apr. 06, 2004 - 3:44 P.M.

Here�s a question�how important is porn to you?

I bring this up due to the fact that Nashville has a law pending called the �Drive-by Porn� law. The point of the law is to make it illegal to play porn in your car. It�s for the kiddies ya�ll.

Don�t misunderstand me. I have nothing against porn. I love some good porn. However, I�d be very uncomfortable driving down the road with my two kids and seeing porn playing in the car in front of me ( #1 son--�Hey mom, there�s a really cute dog in that car�get closer!�). I mean, how exactly, would you explain Humped Back At Notre Dame or Indiana Boner And The Temple Of Boom Boom or Throbbin' Hood ?

There are so many choices for porn: you can watch pay-per-view porn on your tele; you can get rental porn (VHS or DVD, for your pleasure); you can download porn on your computer; you can probably even download it to your cell (phone, not jail); you can buy magazine/erotic book porn; you can go to �massage� parlors; you can kick it at your local sex shop. But, if you are the person for whom porn is so important that you must also bamp chicka in your car while you run out for a quart of milk (or, you know, AstroGlide), I just, well, what do I say to you?

If you are in a porn frame of mind you can pretty much make anything sound dirty�

�I�m having my hard drive defragged.�

�Why don't you sharpen my pencil?�

�I think your pen is out of ink.�

�I need to have my plug rewired.�

�Slide it in the slot.�

�My battery is dead. I need a jump.�

and of course, the line that just screams porn, the line that the very minute you hear it, you know you�ll next be hearing the twangy guitars and synthesized drum beats of carnal, sweaty, hot girl/so-so guy sex�

�I�m here to clean your pool.�

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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