Thursday, Jul. 29, 2004 - 4:08 P.M.

Fair warning: This entry is extremely disjointed. I have an excuse. Today, I am extremely disjointed. And discombobulated. And disenfranchised. All the dis’s. Except for disarming. No sweetness and charm around today.

A woman in Washington was arrested on July 16th for eating a candy bar. Let this be a lesson to you: Crime Doesn’t Pay(Day). Also? Tossed in the pokey for a PayDay? I can see, maybe, a Butterfinger. Certainly a Mounds bar. But, a PayDay? She does work for the government. Perhaps that’s explanation enough.

I forgot to mention one thing about my recent road trip. We drove past a home well into the process of being remodeled. There was a large construction dumpster sitting out in front of the house. The name on the side of the dumpster was not graffiti, it was not hastily spray-painted, it was obviously the name of the construction and/or waste company providing the dumpster. It was quite carefully, clearly and cleanly painted on each side. The name? Asscock. I surely hope that is not someone’s last name. Although, if it isn’t, then how to explain it? I mean, someone actually chose that name to be the public name of their company? For people to see? Didn’t they think about the “dump” jokes ready made for that name? Who are these people?

Recently I watched Secret Window starring one Mr. Johnny Depp. Let me say again, in case he maybe didn’t read it the first time that I said: Johnny, please come home. You aren’t Jerry Lewis for God’s sake. The French can’t love you like I, er, we can.

Yesterday, I wrote an e-mail to a columnist whose style of writing I admire very much. So inspired was I about a topic she touched on (and I mean touched on, it was barely even mentioned!), that I boldly told her that “I'm in the process of writing a book” about the subject. Granted, I have actually started what I hope will one day be a book about it but I’m like, 2 sentences in. And that was about 3 months ago. I haven’t even gone back to it. That’s how much I care. Now I’m either going to have to at least write 1 more sentence so I can sleep at night or, you know, drown out the voice in my head shouting, “LIAR,” with wine and porn.

Wonder which I’ll choose.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

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