Friday, Feb. 11, 2005 - 3:23 P.M.

It appears that I cannot write without food. Apparently thoughts will not form with any cohesiveness if my stomach is not full. I sat down this morning preparing to tap out a masterpiece but all I could think of was, �Wow, I�m starving. When was the last time I ate? Was it a whole hour and a half ago? Good Lord. Screw typing, I need Cheetos and Girl Scouts Tagalongs cookies.�

You know what I always thought was cruel? Girl Scouts all over America will be knocking on doors and standing in front of supermarkets for the next month. Know what else happens this month? The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition comes out. Like I said, cruel.

Moving on to another topic now - My son, who is a freshman in high school, has a vocabulary test today. I don�t remember having vocabulary tests up into my high school years, I seem to remember them stopping after elementary school. Anyhow, he gets his list of words on Monday and he studies by himself until Thursday night when Mom swoops in to lend some word association to help the cause. Imagine my surprise then, last night, when in going over his words with him, I discover the words �fetish,� �explicit,� �salacious� and �abortive.�

Any one of these taken alone might not have set off an alarm but all of them together? So, I said to him, �Uh, son? Who is your English teacher?� He tells me and, after looking her up on the school web site this morning, I shoot her a general e-mail meant to suss out some information or gain a face-to-face meeting. I don�t hear back from her so I go back to the school web site and look into her profile further. Y�all? I went to school with this woman. She graduated a couple of years behind me. One could say, back then, she wasn�t fit to teach three year olds how to pick their noses, a skill I'm pretty sure they're born knowing. She was hella crazy and now she�s responsible for teaching a class full of teens? In particular my teen?

I suppose, as a teenager, I might have thought it was �ber-cool to have a teacher give us these words. As a parent I don�t find it quite so�titillating.

Which, by the way? Was also one of the words.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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