Monday, Feb. 21, 2005 - 3:44 P.M.

Right now on the Yahoo! home page there is an ad for State Farm Insurance where, because it's one of those animated do-hickeys, a silhouetted and hooded figure at first walks slowly then runs up to a silhouetted car and breaks in. Frankly? It’s creepin’ me out. Every time I return to the home page, I have this mini dark hooded figure running across my screen. It’s a little too Grim Reaper for my taste really.

In other news, two coworkers are currently giving me fits. One is a busybody and one is a swollen-headed egotist who thinks he’s better than everyone else and on top of that, he frequently flaunts his surly attitude and believes himself to be untouchable.

Starting with the busybody, say you are in a section of the building which is the absolute farthest away from said busybody, having a conversation about, oh, anything. Widgets, let’s say. If she walks by (and believe me she’ll find you, she will walk by), from her you’ll hear, “What were you saying?” in an attempt to interject herself into the conversation. I swear one of these days I want to turn around and say, “I was saying how sorry I was to hear of your most recent genital herpes outbreak.” Seriously, I just want to say, “We’ve been talking very intently for ten minutes and I really do not want to recap the conversation up to this point so you can now join in. Particularly since (a) you have no idea what we’re discussing, (b) even if we fill you in, were we talking to you? and (c) you are supremely annoying.” Is that bad? Probably so, right? Ah, well.

Swollen-headed egotist is clearly a person who has never heard the adage, “You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.” He has pissed off everyone around him so far past the point of caring that at this point he could coat himself with honey and stand in a cow pasture in the middle of July and we flies would still not come round. The problem is he has a ginormous chip on his shoulder. About what, we haven’t yet discerned but we’re all abuzz about the fact he must be exhausted from carrying it around all these years. Doesn’t it make you warm and fuzzy to know we’re on the case though?

It’s a small office so there’s no escaping either individual. And look, I realize they surely have their issues with me as well. While I’m pretty sure I’d never be labeled a busybody or a swollen headed egotist, I couldn’t really argue with raging bitch or monumentally moody. Maybe we need to go on one of those team building retreats. You know where you fall trustingly backwards into your co-worker’s waiting arms?

Not that I’d catch either one of ‘em. I’m just saying perhaps it would help. Somehow. Maybe.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

© Purplecigar

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