Monday, Jul. 11, 2005 - 2:54 P.M.

I try not to bitch and moan (too much) here about things that get on my last nerve; however, after being called upon recently by the genius that is bigpimpinmba to do so, I have been given the good fortune and remorse-free opportunity to sound off. True, it�s an ambitious task to have to narrow down to five all the things that annoy me, although I feel I�m equal to the challenge.

I�m a bit confused as to the rules of this nag tag; it seems to change from tagger to taggee like an old game of Telephone (y�all know that game?). I�m not sure if I�m suppose to name five general things that annoy me or five things that are popular with society that annoy me personally. At any rate I�ll just throw in a couple of each.

1. Gum-smacking, telephone-talking, retail store-working teenagers who continue to gum-smack and telephone-talk while they are ringing up my purchases. I don�t care about how Jenny told Beth that she was a bitch and now Beth has told you that she�s not speaking to Jenny and blah blahI�vegrowntoooldforthisshit-cakes. Just ring up my rockin� new purse and try to look somewhat happy about it.

2. Jennifer Lopez. While the fervor for her (and her ass) has died down some, at one point it was at a fever pitch. I can�t even tell you why she annoys me or why I don�t understand how come everyone else seems to think she�s so great. When she was with Ben Affleck I was vehemently opposed to that union�and I don�t even like Ben Affleck. I don�t imagine for purposes of this survey I�m supposed to just wantonly announce that something or someone annoys me but rather explain that annoyance. In this case I just can�t.

3. Speaking of actresses (HA!), it�s very annoying to me when some young up-and-comer is deemed the �next Julia Roberts� or the �next Johnny Depp.� What�s wrong with the original Julia Roberts and Johnny Depp? And why does the little imp have to emulate them anyhow? It�s not as if Julia and Johnny are in any way obsolete. They aren�t robots whose versions are out of date. And why is it always some so-called �America�s Sweetheart� or one of �America�s Greatest Actors� that the newbie is compared to? How come no one ever says, �Wow, that guy is the next Ernest Borgnine�?

4. Talkers. The teller at the bank who wants to chat about how the weather is. The cashier at the convenience store who wants to talk about last night�s lottery winner. The woman behind me in line at the movies who tells the entire plot of the movie I�m about to see. The waitperson who constantly hangs around asking if I need anything. I just want to do my business and move on. Just deposit my check, let me pay for my gas and cheese dog, don�t give away the movie�s ending and for the love of frogs, I�ll let you know if and when I need more napkins, okay? Jeez.

5. Still, after all these years (36 of �em), having any insecurities about anything. At 16, you think you know it all and are invincible though all that bravado only covers the fact that you are insanely insecure in so many ways. At 26, you know way more than you did at 16 and you know all that crap you were so insecure about at 16 doesn�t matter one whit. Still though, you aren�t totally immune to insecurity. At 36, evermore wise again than at 26, you lose some insecurities and gain a new set. Have my boobs become too fallen to wear that shirt sans bra? Will my stretch marks matter to my new lover? I�m hoping by 46, still even wiser, I stop giving a shit.

I�m slipping the staff to:

tothefloor, because she needs to update and seeing her narrow her annoyances down to only five should be amusing to watch.
breathtaken1, because she asked me to do a survey and I never explained to her that I had already completed that one. See the entry entitled, The Music Of My Hard Drive.
sock-girlie, because I love seeing her name in red. Not like in blood or anything. Just as having updated.

You Give Me Fervor - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006
Revamped Sex Camp - Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006
I'm Not Dead - Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006
Ebert And Roeper? Watch Your Backs. - Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2005
Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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