Thursday, Feb. 03, 2005 - 10:49 A.M.

You know it really bothers me when a person is completely capable of doing something but they ask another person (namely: me) to �help� them. Let me clue you youngsters out there in. You know, those of you who are new to the dealings of the third layer of hell otherwise known as the corporate environment? At some point you will encounter the following phrases. I�ve run them through my Feckless-to-Forthright translator just for you:

When someone says, �When you get a chance�.� what they really mean is, �Now.�

When someone follows, �When you get a chance�� with �could you please help me with [insert pertinent issue here]� what they really mean is, �Do it for me.�

When someone says, �It doesn�t have to be today� what they really mean is, �Today. As soon as possible.�

When someone says, �I don�t have time. I am absolutely buried� what they really mean is, �I�m on Level 3 of Mah Jong Towers II and I ain�t stopping for you, Chickie.�

When someone says, ��but it�s no big deal� what they really mean is, �It�s a pretty big deal and I�m fairly pissed about it but I�m going the passive aggressive route.�

When someone says, �Listen, I don�t mean to be a bitch�� Run.

Remember kids, the workplace is not all beer and Skittles.

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Coffee? Tea? Map? - Monday, Nov. 07, 2005

� Purplecigar

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